Hope

She asked me what I hoped for, it was issued almost as a challange; I said I didn't hope - because they were never realized. Later on that night I asked myself what I hoped for, but in my mind I changed the question to what I wanted to hear: what I wanted. Want is more justifiable than hope, I think; we want numerous things, but we don't expect to get them - hope comes with expectations, and expectations often come with pain. I want a job that I like, I want a house, I want an attractive wife and kids but I'm not willing to set them on a pedestal. The wants I have are so much that I fear that if I actively pursue them I will only find myself crushed in the end. By not hoping for them, though, I crush myself - here and now.